There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
