just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Green mimosas i think yes
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
