he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
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Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
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You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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