just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
