Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
my nose is crying tears of wow.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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