We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize
