I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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