It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
