At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
