She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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