My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
