If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize