The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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