you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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