Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
