I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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