He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
