You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
