I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
