dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
