I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
