hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
