So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
