Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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