absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
