I accidentally burped into my bong.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
