and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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