are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
