Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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