eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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