I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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