hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
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Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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