Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
