Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
well you can't waste a boner
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
