both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
