At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i came on her dog
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
