And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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