when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
