I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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