the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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