quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
