i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
