honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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