Can Purell be used as lube?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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