hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... ๐ฏ๐๐๐
Do I even want to know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Thereโs a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize