Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
