I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
