he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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