More tranny stories later!
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
