she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
