Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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