Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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