i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize