My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
