so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
