The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
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I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
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Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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