I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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