I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
