i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Randomize
