Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
zippers are such a cool invention
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
