I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
