i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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