To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
