once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob