Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(325): View more from Texas

wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"

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(325): wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah" http://tfl.nu/d8s5

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?

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(215): how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon? http://tfl.nu/98up

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(905): View more from Ontario

heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain

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(905): heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain http://tfl.nu/cvqd

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(323): View more from California

dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning

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(323): dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning http://tfl.nu/bjxg

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(210): View more from Texas

drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend

(1-210): View more from Texas

I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.

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(210): drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend (1-210): I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning. http://tfl.nu/558s

Replies (26) Good night (2001) Bad night (5073)
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(440): View more from Ohio

basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.

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(440): basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out. http://tfl.nu/kbtu

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.

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(617): You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints. http://tfl.nu/h72d

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(207): View more from Maine

this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!

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(207): this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go! http://tfl.nu/gugi

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(314): View more from Missouri

He's only going to be gone for two weeks

(1-314): View more from Missouri

That's two months in gay whore years.

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(314): He's only going to be gone for two weeks (1-314): That's two months in gay whore years. http://tfl.nu/9nuw

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(309): View more from Illinois

We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.

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(309): We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously. http://tfl.nu/aavt

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(+61): View more from Australia

I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.

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(+61): I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in. http://tfl.nu/ilgv

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(248): View more from Michigan

Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.

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(248): Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real. http://tfl.nu/avlt

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(317): View more from Indiana

Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.

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(317): Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios. http://tfl.nu/l40u

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(845): View more from New York

Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.

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(845): Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right. http://tfl.nu/xf55

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative

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(610): Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative http://tfl.nu/dzmt

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