I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.