no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
In America we eat man semen.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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