Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(435): View more from Utah

Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood

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(435): Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood http://tfl.nu/j2rr

Replies (57) Good night (9217) Bad night (1100)
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(443): View more from Maryland

You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding

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(443): You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding http://tfl.nu/vxqr

Replies (51) Good night (821) Bad night (7321)
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(785): View more from Kansas

so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse

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(785): so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse http://tfl.nu/82q3

Replies (10) Good night (688) Bad night (4189)
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(317): View more from Indiana

All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...

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(317): All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"... http://tfl.nu/vy09

Replies (6) Good night (4875) Bad night (981)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex

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(978): i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex http://tfl.nu/k76b

Replies (5) Good night (4148) Bad night (879)
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(613): View more from Ontario

at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.

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(613): at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner. http://tfl.nu/n8w7

Replies (7) Good night (3468) Bad night (842)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.

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(208): Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately. http://tfl.nu/dsn6

Replies (2) Good night (1736) Bad night (1220)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.

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(203): a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away. http://tfl.nu/13eg

Replies (10) Good night (2226) Bad night (811)
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(707): View more from California

After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs

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(707): After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs http://tfl.nu/t3em

Replies (6) Good night (1981) Bad night (599)
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(509): View more from Washington

So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?

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(509): So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh? http://tfl.nu/gcnr

Replies (4) Good night (507) Bad night (791)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry

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(803): He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry http://tfl.nu/mcy0

Replies (4) Good night (396) Bad night (1259)
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(806): View more from Texas

We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.

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(806): We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish. http://tfl.nu/et7p

Replies (3) Good night (547) Bad night (478)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time

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(603): You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time http://tfl.nu/76fp

Replies (1) Good night (705) Bad night (338)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.

(281): View more from Texas

You're a hero.

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(832): Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too. (281): You're a hero. http://tfl.nu/xn5z

Replies (1) Good night (567) Bad night (397)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.

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(870): She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen. http://tfl.nu/olb0

Replies (2) Good night (569) Bad night (250)

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