C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
