So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
