I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize